Tails from The Spiritual Cat Dish

This is my weekly selection of spiritual wisdom, and very occasionally a rant, because they come downstairs, get ready themselves and ignore or forget me. I’m working on feeling good despite them, but I haven’t yet worked out how to open the tin using my paws.

I no longer fret about the dish being empty beyond a few hours, because I put my faith in the Great Cat. And while it’s empty, it gives me chance to think about things other than eating, so here goes.

Convenient Orificial Nonsense Syndrome.

Do you have this condition? Knowing that you do will explain why your life is such a failure. But you don't have to suffer anymore. Go along to your G.P., and get hooked up to the drug revolution that's banishing this debilitating b***oc** forever.

Are you a sheep? Did you know that fashion industry experts have declared that to be a sheep is the hottest thing this year? Have your fleece dyed any colour you want. Hang out with thousands of other sheep. If you don't have the sheep gene, don't worry, you can be cloned!

And finally, do you feel powerless? Isn't it great? Let your life bob along like a cork on the tide. Trust your leaders, trust adverts, trust fast food. Get fat, check out, take drugs, chill out. Lose the plot at supermarkets, airports and in any public place.

But seriously folks, we felines suffer most when we are ill-treated as youngsters. Some of us are shy, it can't be denied. Yes, I have siblings who suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder [Oh, the shame. Do I need a pill?]. I will confess to suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, but the only cure is to sleep longer.

Isn't illness wonderful? Click on the pill carton above to find out:

Can you tell sarcasm from truth? Do you have the truth gene? Where will it all end?

Oh, if you still like your pills, find out what 'they' are putting in them by clicking the sheep cartoon.

Life is wonderful. The Great Cat still purrs loudly.

21/7/08.